Snowblower neighborliness

By Doug Page | Thursday, March 1, 2007, 03:38 PM

It’s easy to be neighborly if you have a snowblower.

Give a man a tool and he will build what is needed. Give a guy a power tool, and he will build what is needed every chance he gets. All the world looks like a nail to a guy with a new hammer.

The recent winter unpleasantness found guys out morning and night clearing sidewalks and drives with their mechanized shovels of burden. When they finished with their sidewalks and drives, there was always the neighbor’s. Poor guy. His wife won’t let him have a real testament to his manhood.

Much good comes from this macho infatuation with all things measured in horsepower. Neighborhood sidewalks were cleared. This allowed schools to reopen. That allowed parents to survive.

Good thing the schools reopened. Kids are supposed to learn. That way they can get good jobs for good pay. With that good pay, the little boys can become real guys by purchasing those things measured in horsepower. (Little girls can also grow up into wonderful women who allow their guys power tools or, better yet, learn to use them themselves.)

Some neighborhoods are blessed neither with sidewalks nor with snowblowers. Out in the country, there are no sidewalks. There are tractors. Most have front-end loaders. That’s for scooping up things you don’t want where they are. Like manure. You pick it up and haul it to where you’d rather have it. Same with snow.

Farmers are noted as good neighbors. Things break. On a farm, many of those things that break are big. Big often means costly. If your big thing breaks, chances are your neighbor’s big thing hasn’t. So the neighbor brings his big thing over to help out. He remembers the last time one of his big things broke, another neighbor helped out.

So most farm lanes got cleared.

Pity, however, those people who don’t live in the city or the country. They live in the suburbs. Suburbs don’t have sidewalks. People walk in the street on the odd occasion when they walk. Suburbs don’t have tractors, but they do have lots of snowblowers.

So folks clear their driveways. When they’re done, they’re done. There are no sidewalks to clear. The only connector between houses is the street.

People in suburbs have been trained since birth that only motor vehicles use the streets. Walkers, joggers, bicyclists, guys with snowblowers are simply Targets of Opportunity for the motor vehicles.

About the only motor vehicles on the road during the recent unpleasantness were suburbanites in SUVs or snowplows. Best to stay off the roads.

All suburbs ought to be required to have sidewalks. It’s about the only thing that binds us together, other than universal public education.

Schools are possible because of all of us. We all pay, in one form or another, for the schools.

We disagree on what is a fair share. Some think teachers are overpaid. Some believe retirees are getting a free ride. Some preach the homeowner is getting the short end of the stick.

We all pay for the schools. We all benefit. Without universal public education, this country would have collapsed. Education reinforces our innate sense of neighborliness. It also gives the skills to solve problems.

In short, without universal public education, there wouldn’t be guys — or the women who let them — with snowblowers clearing their neighbors’ walks.

And it would be a poorer world.

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