One weird chick

By Doug Page | Monday, August 6, 2007, 12:15 PM

Veronica is one weird chick. I kept looking for Archie and Jughead on the front porch.

She arrived Sunday afternoon when everyone was conveniently out. She and her hefty passport took up residence and stayed the night. Forty bucks later she was gone.

Probably one of the cleverer fund-raising gimmicks. The mannequin had been dressed and adorned by all the others in the neighborhood who were forced to take her in. Her passport of her 75 stops was dotted with pictures and tales of imagined Bacchanalias.

For $40, the organizers promise to remove Veronica from your porch. For 60 bucks or so, you can forward Veronica to a specific address. And for 80 or so smackers, you can get her delivered to that address along with a guarantee she will not return to your domicile for the summer.

Seems reasonable and a heck of a lot better than the can of popcorn, the box of cookies or the pounds of chocolates the kids try to sell through the school year.

Organizers are hoping to raise a minimum of $3,000 for Kyle Elementary School.

If it weren’t for such a good cause, I’d be tempted to hold Veronica hostage. For four cans of popcorn, three boxes of cookies and 10 pounds of dark chocolate, I’ll release the fair Veronica to the organizers.

Except that they know where I live.

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