Don O'Briant, Cox News Service Every Dec. 31, millions of Americans vow to start the new year right by losing weight, quitting smoking, eliminating toxic relationships, getting organized or exercising more. By the end of February, only a few determined souls will have stuck with their new routines. The rest will have returned to their old habits and will be left feeling frustrated over their lack of discipline. It doesn't have to be that way. "The mistake most people make when they consider their New Year's resolutions is that they think change is simply about willpower," says Charles Stuart Platkin, author of "Breaking the Pattern: The 5 Principles You Need to Remodel Your Life" (Red Mill Press, $24.95). "It's impossible to effect real and lasting change in your life through the sheer force of your will." Platkin, who lost 50 pounds after fighting a weight problem for years, has devised a plan to help people make changes. One thing he suggests is to recognize your self-defeating patterns of behavior and try to avoid them. Another suggestion is to set realistic and specific goals. "Don't simply say you want to lose weight. Set a goal of losing 20 pounds in six months, then break it down into three-quarters of a pound a week. If you cut 100 calories a day from your diet --- that's one soda --- you'll lose 10 pounds in a year. That's achievable." Losing weight, of course, is always one of the first resolutions to be broken. A survey by Executive Solutions, a marketing research firm in New York, showed that only 20 percent of those who make dieting resolutions succeed long term. "My favorite definition of diet is a period of food deprivation followed by a rapid increase in weight," says Atlanta therapist Jody Ard. "People enter into diets with great intentions and huge resolves. They want to get two sizes smaller so they can wear the jeans they wore in high school. One of the things they neglect to do is to understand what they get out of the eating habits they have now. What they don't think about is the emotional connection." For many people, Ard says, food is a way of nurturing themselves, of escaping. They remember their childhoods, when cookies were a reward for good behavior. "If we can understand what it is we get out of what we're doing, then we can find a way of filling that void. Reward yourself with something other than food. It can be exercise or something creative, such as painting or working in the garden." Both Platkin and Ard agree that most resolutions fail because they usually involve deprivation or a high level of self-discipline. They suggest setting goals for something that will give you pleasure, such as learning to play a musical instrument or spending more time with your family. Frustrated by her efforts to lose weight, Marjorie Kimbrough finally resolved in 2001 to do something that made her happy. "Diets were just a waste of time and energy," says Kimbrough, an Atlanta author and minister's wife. Meanwhile, Celia Rocks, author of "Organizing the Good Life: A Path to Joyful Simplicity" (Facts on Demand, $12.95), focused more on what she wanted her life to look like in 2002 than on what her closets looked like. Rocks believes the best New Year's resolutions should center on how well you're using the most precious resource you have --- time. Her book offers monthly resolutions designed to help stressed-out people simplify their lives and savor little pleasures. "In January, for example, make a promise to 'show up' for everything you do. This means, when you're working, really work. Don't go through the motions. When you're with your family, turn off the cellphone and give them your undivided attention." Other resolutions include de-cluttering your home; finding a mini-butler --- perhaps a neighborhood teen to get and fetch; turning off the TV three nights a week; revamping your workspace; connecting with a new neighbor; and starting a gratitude journal. "I started 'Organizing the Good Life' with one of my all-time favorite quotes," Rocks says. "It's from Benjamin Franklin and it goes, 'Dost thou love life? Then do not squander time, for that's the stuff life is made of.' That says it all. And that's what I try to think of at the turn of every new year. It helps me focus on what's really, truly important." Next: 4 Tips on Keeping New Year's Resolutions From "Breaking the Pattern: The 5 Principles You Need to Remodel Your Life" by Charles Stuart Platkin Don O'Briant works for The Atlanta Journal-Constitution. | ||
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