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'Stealth': Derivative action movie offers very little fun

"Stealth" has two letters in its title too many.

This alleged thriller should be called "Steal" because it shamelessly rips off just about every military/paranoid technology movie ever made.

Sony Pictures Entertainment 'Stealth' C The verdict: A derivative patchwork quilt of mediocrity. Director: Rob Cohen Starring: Josh Lucas, Jessica Biel, Jamie Foxx, Joe Morton, Sam Shepard, Richard Roxburgh, Ian Bliss Run time: 121 minutes Release date: July 29, 2005 Rating: PG-13 for intense action, some violence, brief strong language and innuendo. See showtimes On the web Official movie site View the trailer    Trailers require Quicktime Rate "Stealth"   Go see it   Make it a matinee   Wait to rent   Don't bother Voter Limit: Once per Hour View Poll Results

The trailers have pitched a movie in which a trio of pilots played by Josh Lucas, Jessica Biel and Jamie Foxx must "train" an automated jet that pilots and thinks for itself. Then, the jet, called "Eddie," gets struck by lightning (darn that random electricity!) and decides to indiscriminately strike targets that could spark World War III.

Part of this movie's problem is, that's only about half the story. After about the midway point, let's just say the jet starts thinking about the havoc it has wreaked, and "Stealth" gets increasingly silly as it continues.

An even bigger problem is that it's everything old, nothing's new and all is borrowed, which made me blue. Listing this film's influences, to put it politely, is like going down the action/adventure shelf at the video store, with a couple of departures.

Hot-dogging, fun-loving, authority-flouting pilots who spend a pretty but pointless interlude that makes them partially strip? "Top Gun."

Warring military commanders whose disagreements could cause catastrophe? "Crimson Tide."

Super-smart talking computer goes haywire? "2001: A Space Odyssey."

The dangers of letting technology rule the military? The "Terminator" movies.

Pilot goes down in hostile territory? "Behind Enemy Lines."

Oh, and I have a question. Why is it that whenever they invent these supercomputers that cause so much trouble, no one installs a self-destruct button?

Standard answer: Because then the movie would be really short.

There are some refreshing spurts of quality. Biel gives the movie some life with her tough but engaging portrayal. I liked that she was given a role a male or female could play, without having to resort to butch, brainy or helpless stereotypes women typically have in these movies.

"Stealth" also sports one outstanding action scene when a jet explodes and rains down fiery debris on its ejected pilot and their parachute. Unfortunately, director Rob Cohen, who specializes in slick but empty action flicks like "The Fast and the Furious" and "XXX," and writer W.D. Richter do not show enough imagination to last the entire film.

"Stealth" may aim to be nothing more than brainless fun, but there's little fun to be had when the movie is such a derivative patchwork quilt of mediocrity. Heck, it even takes a cue from Disney's "Herbie" series if you count a vehicle with a mind of its own — something "Stealth" most certainly does not have.